Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Alaska: Of Past, Present, and Future

Remember when I wrote that post in Uganda on my birthday? I had just turned 23, and was in the heart of Africa, surrounded by both friends and enemies. Well, I'm 25 now. I know, right? It has already been 2 years since Uganda.

Game changer.
Well, some of you might remember me saying that there was a game changer coming up. I think it's time to tell you. It's taken me some time to decide on it, but with that time and plenty of prayer, it seems like the proper choice to make.

I've signed up for Bethel service again.

Now slow down, don't get your pages wrinkled. I know this is not the type of thing to broadcast to the world, and that most brothers or sisters will keep it to themselves instead of mentioning that they applied to something. In fact, that is what I did last time.
This time, however, I wanted it to be different. Let me give some explanations.

Why share this with readers so early on?

I want to share it with my readers this time. I can foresee a number of benefits from this. Maybe there are some readers out there that are also waiting for something to happen, either an application to be accepted, a goal to be reached, a trial to be over, or whatever. Any number of things, really. I can completely understand the feelings behind so many reasons to wait. So writing down this reason to wait can build a bridge between myself and some of my readers, and give some common ground for us to stand on. Maybe by being with me as I wait through this will help some of you, as I am sure that it will help me.
What if I am not accepted? All the more so, then, to share. Overcoming disappointed hopes, recognizing that perhaps what we had in mind wasn't what Jehovah had in mind, being willing to make adjustments, being willing to be as Jeremiah was and be molded in the hands of the Potter, Jehovah...All of this will be included in the experience if I am NOT accepted to Bethel, just as it would be included in many other times of life where waiting is required.

Why sign up for Bethel again?

It's time. I have seen many different parts of the world so far, all in Jehovah's service. But the time is coming for me to stop bouncing around every 6 months, and to establish myself more long term. Find a place for my roots to really grow. Does this mean that I am giving up on need greating? Not in the slightest way. My long term goal is a life of constant need greating where ever Jehovah will allow me. It is simply time to move out and on. Thus, I am faced with the choice.
In that choice, there is a strong underlay of aspects to be considered. Why move on? With what expectations? What goals? What resolve have I built with which to sustain myself?
At this point in my life, I feel the need to establish my heart stronger with Jehovah so that I do not slip into 'everyday life' syndrome. This means not having the best job, not having a pimped out Jeep (that I would so desperately love), not buying the latest from Sony, Nintendo, or Microsoft, not seeking out a small cabin in the mountains of Alaska, etc etc. Instead, this means setting my heart and eyes on something of a much higher value. One of the best ways to do that at this moment would be to completely immerse myself in Jehovah's service. Bethel. If not accepted, then I will apply again, find a place to serve in need greating more long term, and continue to wait. Either way, my need greating isn't over, and neither is my blogging. (Oh yeah, I guess that also means you can read about my experiences if I DO get accepted, too!)

Why did you ever leave Bethel to begin with, if only to attempt to go back?

Honestly, immaturity and fear. Yes, there were a lot of things at home that I wanted to try and assist with, but it falls down ultimately to a naive sense of my own worth. Coming from a large family that has many special needs children, there are many different responsibilities that need taken care of. Considering that I was raised in such a situation, it is my realm, it is my normal. It is my typical. Bethel was so different from that, and I daily listened to the problems mount and build back home. After a year, I went home with the thought that I could solve the problems, with an ever present fear of being out of my own comfort zone for much longer.
Silly boy.
While I don't regret being of service to my family, and my loyalty has not waned with even the variation of a shadow, things are different the second time around. Elements that prevented a great many experiences are recently removed. With the removal, a sea of possibility was set before me. It is a daunting feeling, knowing that what controlled every aspect of my life for 25 years is suddenly removed. A frightening sense of freedom, of a lack of what chains I would call normal, of nothing to tether me. It is a terrifying experience, suddenly faced with nothing but myself as company.
While I am still home for the time being, the door has been opened, and I never even knew there was a possibility to go through it, as I expected this element to haunt me till Armageddon. Now it is gone, and this open door of opportunity invites me. I must choose to go or to stay.

I choose to go.

Thus, ends this post. Questions are invited. Comments are most welcome. Both are encouraged.

Ps. Let's have a little feed back from the readers, alright? I know a number of you had guesses on what the game changer was, right? Well leave a comment and tell us what you thought it was! If you were right, you can have some digital cookies!


Pss. This is my 100th post!


  1. TREVOR!!!!,

    This was such an awesome post, It was very encouraging, I totally agree with you in regards to this post will help with ones waiting for a goal to be reached or an application to be accepted, that's definitely the case with me, and this post was very motivational, showing us ever much so that we need to keep serving Jehovah in all things and putting our ultimate trust in him! Matthew 6:33 is OH!so true!Once, we set that determination to just use our life in service to Jehovah and to just throw ourselves in his hands, allowing him to use us as needed, we will definitely experience the most happiness! I look forward to seeing how Jehovah continually blesses your efforts! I pray and have confidence that he most definitely will! May he give you all the " requests of your heart"!! :D


    1. India, thanks for the comment!
      I agree with you, as evident in the post. I really appreciate the encouragement, I gotta tell you. Keep up your own hard work, too!

  2. I really enjoyed this blog post! I emailed you, did you by any chance see it? I'm going to Italy in April, and haven't decided whether to go Bologna or Florence, to serve with the english for about a month. I was hoping you could pass on some advice or anything that might help me. I, too, have been waiting patiently on Jehovah to direct me where he wants to use me. I'm still waiting lol. BUT, the most important thing is that in order for a car to turn left or right, it must be in motion. and that is what you are doing! you are trying to put things in motion, and then Jehovah can steer you (i think you will be a Jeep in this illustration) along.

    my email is vintagechika@gmail.com or skype vintagechika -- i would love to pick your brain about italy. :)

    1. Well well lookie here. It's Nadia. You're the one that emailed me. I checked my inbox, Certainly. There you were, in all your textual glory. HOW did I miss that?! I am so sorry, but somehow I missed your email. Fear not, N-tothe-adia! I'll reply in the best way that I can.
      Ps. Haha, Thanks for making me a Jeep in the illustration!

    2. thanks for checking and finding my email! So, i am officially going to Bologna, and i'm excited! so if you have any tips or fave places from when you were there, that would be awesome :)

      p.s. ive never been called N-tothe-adia, but i'm pretty sure i LOVE it hhaha!!! :)

  3. Trevor lives!! Good to hear from you!! I think I heard "did you read Trevor's new post??" like 4 times today :) Are you famous or something?? Haha. I am really happy to hear that you are putting your Bethel app back in-I am too!!! I am putting it in from here to try to avoid the whole in-between "what will I do with my life now???" stage, but I'm not really the one who gets decide all that!! I can understand the way you feel because I have felt that way every time I have left one assignment or another. The important thing is to never stand still!! Who knows, maybe our need-greating paths will cross again-next time hopefully for more than 3 days!

    alla prossima,

  4. Hey Trevor, I know all about feeling like you are "needed" at home. But what I've learned is that Jehovah knows how to take care of our families and usually does so in surprising and wonderful ways. Just remember that not everyone in your family can work at Bethel or travel the world preaching, but they can do their part by supporting you in your service. And I'm sure they love to hear about your adventures.

    During Gilead orientation I remember hearing something that really made an impact on me. The instructor wanted to remind us to stay humble but he also made the another point that kind of stuck with me. He said 'You are not the smartest pioneers, you are not the best preachers, however, you are the most available.' Jehovah uses those who make themselves available to him. Congratulations Trevor for making yourself available for Jehovah to use you in whatever way he deems fit. Just remember to stay busy in the mean time! - Linka


  5. Hey, man..It's nice to read about your stories. You're young, and it takes courage to do what you do. I'm currently a Bethelite in Indonesia. Can I have your email, so we can share some stories. Thanks, bro! :)