I am not Samson, neither am I Abraham.
I cannot fell enemies by the tens of thousands, and I cannot tear lions in two. Neither am I a sterling example of faith and dependence on Jehovah.
No, I am something else entirely. I am Trevor, and no one else.
However, for the first time in this short life I've been given, I am confident. Not in Trevor, nor in the mentioned characters of history's tale. I am confident in Jehovah.
My name is Trevor, and I will not let the pages of my history write themselves any longer. Now, I have begun to write my own page, my own story. From ashes I've been taken, and from the pit I've been saved. Placed on my feet, I start to walk on my own with my God, my Father. Hand in hand, I have begun to learn what it means for Trevor to walk with Jehovah, no one in my stead.
No matter how gradual, no matter how painful, this is the start of childhood's end, where a boy learns to become a man and learns to walk on his own with his God.
Long story, trust me. If it doesn't make sense, then that's ok. It makes perfect sense to Trevor. That's me.
I'll be completely honest, here, Africa can be rough territory. Not the field, thats fine. I mean that Africa can pack a very strong dropkick to the face when you're least expecting it. One moment, you're rocking the field and having a wonderful time, and then the next you're hiding under your blankets waiting for the scary sun to go away. At least, that was the case with me. For some unexplainable reason, I went through a funk of epic proportions. Honestly, I don't think I've had such a hard time being happy and finding joy as those...what, two weeks? Sure, two weeks isn't really much to some, but those weeks hit suddenly and HARD. I went to bed happy and zealous, and woke up terrified and miserable. Strange, right?
Ok, so for two weeks I suffered, trying everything known to man, and a few things known only to llamas. (why is llama spelled with two 'l's?) I've not had to fight so hard before...it gives me a whole new respect for those that suffer from depression. Depression doesn't need reasons or logic. It just saps you of life, whether you like it or not. Its an actual mental illness. Ok, TOTALLY off topic.
So, to ensure that this post goes in a positive light and to let you know that things are good in Trevor land, let me finish. SO there I was, fighting for my life in the heart of Africa, surrounded by 'different' and separated from everything I find comfortable and familiar. Then, like a holy ball of heavenly light, I woke up one day and felt just a sliver better than I did. That's when I felt it was time to heal and finally beat this enemy that invaded my mind and heart. Prayers in my head and resolve in my hand, I started to get better. It took about a week to get rid of it completely, but I am finally full throttle and port side. Now, I have that adventurous spirit back, and even the worst of what Africa has to offer has little affect on me. I have a new mentality, and strength of mind. Bethel started it, and Africa is filling it out. With this new strength Jehovah has enabled me to find, I'm able to achieve new victories in my own way. Recently I had an amazing call, Fred, I'm sure you know him if you read that last post. My confidence in Africa has skyrocketed, which enables me to do SO much more with the brothers. (its amazing how confidence hampers or drives you) You know what is written at the start of this post? It is hard to explain, but that is my best attempt at telling you what is going on in my head. I've finally started to feel as though I am living Trevor's life in Jehovah's service, and no longer being raised by my hometown and home congregation.
I almost broke here in Africa, I won't lie. But, if you asked me if I'd take it back, what do you think I would say?
I needed to fall into the depths of despair so that I could learn to find Jehovah's hand on my own. Before, it was always other people who found it for me. The pages of my history are being written by me now. My book of my history will tell of a time when the world was collapsing, spirit forces were warring, and the fabric of everything mankind had ever known was about to shatter. It will tell of a time when everything ended with a climatic war of all that is holy against all that is evil. When all has occurred, and the world reshaped, I'll always remember back to a time when we defied all odds and survived the destruction of the world because of the power of our God.
Until then, the pages continue to turn. Friends come, friends go. Enemies rise, and enemies fall. New chapters start, and old ones are remembered. Come what may, I write this on my own, now. Someday, I'll have a compliment to both me and my pages, but for now it is Trevor and his God. I could not be happier with what Jehovah has given me. Thank you, Jehovah, my Father and Friend.
Ps. I put up a youtube to show you some of the things going on here. Its got a few vids of where I am staying and the places around there, so check it out if you want. Its in the links at the top of the page. On the right.
Have something specific you would like to know/see/hear?
I take requests for:
Calling all Need Greaters!
All those that want to at least give Africa a try, have no fear! Jehovah causes paths to form from wastelands, and wall-like-obstacles to fall like Jericho! Are you a Need Greater? Do you want to BE a Need Greater? Do you want excitement and adventure while serving Jehovah and friends around the globe? Africa can fill all such needs and wants, and the blessings Jehovah extends are innumerable and priceless! Out goes the call to those that would throw their trust in Jehovah and 'step into Macedonia'! Pray, sleep, then pray again, and email me for more information. It is surprisingly easy to do, trust me. I've done it.