So here are some of the things in Africa that demand our chuckles, giggles, smirks, smiles, laughs, gufahs, and bwahas.
|Hang onto the edge, Billy! Don't let go!|
Crazies. As abundant as oxygen, they fill the streets and alleyways of Fort Portal like white on snow. We were holding the meeting for field service, and a guy dressed in robes walked up behind us. Since we do the field meeting in the open, everyone can see us. He walked up behind us while we were conducting, and sat down on his knees, praying. Then he would sit up, mouth something, and then kneel back down. After doing that for a bit, he pulled out some paper and started writing down something. When he finished, he handed it to Chris Panduro with a big smile and walked away. I checked it out after the meeting, but I couldn't tell what it was...just scribbles maybe.
Every town has its token crazy guy. Fort Portal, however, has many.
How many times have we met totally crazy people when out in the field? Far, far too many to count. For instance:
(After talking to someone, I was approached by some older guy who was asking about God's name)
Me: "So, what do you think God's name is?"
Gentleman: "AAAABLREAAGDHATHATATA! ILOVECHICKENBAKEDINMUD!BUYMEACOMPUTERCAT!"
Gentleman: "HAHAHAHAHAHA! YES! GGGGGDHATAPLAPLAPLAPOOPOOPLATTER!"
Me: "You have no idea what I'm saying, do you?"
Gentleman: "YES! CAPAPAPABOOGU!"
Me: "I'm...going to go now."
Gentleman: "YEEEES!! OKAY!! HOW ARE YOU?!"
Another time, we were conducting the field service meeting again, and some guy walked up and stood there with us. That was pretty much it. He just stood there smiling. When we finished, he waved and walked away. Anticlimactic...
I even get plenty of offers. For instance:
I went in the field today when something strange but funny happened. As I was talking to a group of people, an old lady came up and, in broken English, asked me:
"Do you have a wife?" Odd, right?
Me: "Uh...no." I wasn't curious. Not at all.
Me: "Too expensive." She laughed. I didn't.
Her: "I want you to have my daughter!"
She grabs a young woman by the arm and pushes her towards me. The young woman yells "NO!" and struggles to break free.
Me: "Uh...I don't think she likes me."
Young woman: "I don't!"
Older woman: "It is okay!" She kept pushing her daughter at me.
Young woman: "I do not like him!"
Older woman: "Oogabooga takatakawakapaka!" (Rutoro language)
Young woman: "Mpaka natwe noogoo boogerface!" (Returned Rutoro)
Both women: Argue.
Me: Leave quietly before they notice.
After pulling my face out of the thorn bushes on the side of the road that I found temporary residence in to avoid getting hit by a car, I looked up to see my near death experience's mascot. What did I see?